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March 02 Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry... i've always been good at reading people
but somehow i just can't figure you out...
it's the best that you ever had
the best that you ever, ever had
it's the best that you ever had
the best thing that you had has gone away
我们只爱红色的玫瑰
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我: 会害怕吗？
她：会。
我：为了什么？
她：怕找不到理由。
我：那你要怎么办？
她：像坐上一辆没有路线指示的公共汽车那样，头也不会的往前开，想下时就下，想上时就再买票踏上旅程。我就是这么简单地活。
我：会感到这样下去似乎很盲目吗？
她：会。有时真的很羡慕那些有宗教信仰或扎实的人身目标的人，即使我认为那些理念只是主流社会给我们的expectations或某种stereotype。身边那些每天饭前祈祷，周末去教堂的人们，他们过着对于他们来说幸福的生活。其实我曾读过圣经，因母亲是基督徒，亦尝试为了某种目标而努力，结果是我学会了理解，但却怎么也无法这样生活。所以我只能不断地走，什么也不想得走下去。
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Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps, My hump, my hump, my hump kiss my booty y'all
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girl: oh yeah im sorry i havent told u yet... i broke up with him... i just didnt want to tell u in person cause every time i think about him i feel like crying
me: shit, what happened?
girl: friday was suppose to be our second year together but instead he slept with this other girl... and she just had to be enemy
me: who the hell told u?
girl: my friend. and its been going on for a week already... my friend was just too scared to tell me cause he knows id get pissed. i broke two of my cell phones when i found out
me: fuck
girl: well as soon as i step out of the plane in holland, im gonna have to kill that mothafuckin bitch. trust me i will.
me: when u leavin?
girl: maybe this spring break. and i will hit her with a bat if there is one.
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3月4日上海摇滚？摄音疯--摄影展
for more details, go to: http://www.cocaart.com February 06 lalala'im so tired'
she unzipps her white Babyphat jacket, takes out her makeup bag from her purse
the purse prints "Dior"
in the mirror she checks for any smudge of makeup and decides that heavy eyelining should do the job
'damn girl, dont u feel so drained sometimes?'
the eyeliner in her hand reads "CD"
when assured that no flaws can be found, she packs away her makeup bag
then she steps backs
her hundred dollar red lacing boots make a series of crisp noise against the restroom tiles
'i dont want to think about it. i really dont.'
'nothing happens. he hasnt called. i miss him but i dont know if i should call.'
'i never get anything i want.'
'but again i dont know what exactly i want sometimes.'
her eyes lock on my reflection
'lain, i really really dont want to think about it.'
January 17 Hyperballad
她笑着露出了牙。 我问她怎么了。 她说我太高兴了。 她说他打电话来，哭着说想她。 所以我们重新在一起了。她还是笑。 我没吭声。 然后我看着她说， 可是他远在荷兰。可是你只能偷偷在每年回国时去看他。 他是黑人。你父亲歧视黑人。你只能偷偷的。 她说她知道 她已习惯
its okay. i dont care. i love him. thats what she said
i hate her for saying that this stupid stupid girl
why? Reychelle. why the fuck do you do this to yourself? but i know. i know you. i know.
疏狂 她已习惯了在睡梦中 追寻他的身影 她紧抱着回忆 只为了留下他的笑嘴 她的幻听轻抚着血红的伤口 无能为力仅是现实在作乱 她纵身于绮丽的虚幻 灵魂沉湎在爱恋的暖汁中 她将被此慰藉快乐地吞噬 但幸福仍是如此之奢靡
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她说，我站在33层高楼上，俯瞰希德里繁华似锦的夜色。我在想，坠落会是何种感觉。那种不固定感，失去了连接，已不再有依恋。血肉模糊的躯体会随之融入空气，化为永不褪去的气息。除去附加的我将自由的散遍每一个角落。终于脱离了压迫。实体的殂没。灵魂的赦释。你有想过吗？
有。
十五岁的一天，我坐在卧室的地板上。门外有杂乱的惨叫。我看着桌上一片薄薄的美工刀。那时我想知道，这个每天只吃一口面包和一根黄瓜的身体究竟能流出多少血。我拿起轻巧的刀片，放在光下看闪闪发光的刀口。然后我把它对着食指尖，微微摁下。先是一个圆润的鲜红点。随后形成一颗大而饱满的血滴，逐渐膨胀，随后破裂并涔涔而下。闭上眼睛，我用它对着手臂使力滑下去。
那时我只事想知道，自己是否仍活着。
如果会流血，那么为什么。为什么我却感到死亡般的麻木。那红色液体如同眼泪，毫无价值的流泻着。我是空白的本身。
可你没死。她笑了。你要活下去。我亦如此。
its real early morning
no one is a wake
im back at my cliff
...
i imagine what my body would sound like
slamming against those rocks
and when i land
will my eyes be closed or open
December 29 she told me
我们必须为自己的选择做出牺牲。割弃是必要的。就如同你选择了疏离他们，得到自由。但其实世间种种选择早已注定，仅是我们命运中的一小步。就如同我可以轻易继承他的财产，挥霍一生，但终究得不到一日自由。
我曾经如此地憎恨过。那是一种对这世界抱有的剧烈的深恶痛绝。玲，你知道吗。当你对一切恨至骨髓时，你想到的会是伤害并毁灭。可当你只感到无从填满的失望时，你想到的会是死亡与原谅。
她大而漆黑的眼眸似无动于衷地看着我。卷翘浓密的睫毛在她娇艳的脸蛋上倒映出一片狭长的阴影。我看见她的眼眶中那滴留不下来的眼泪。她的脖子有被勒过后而留下的红色斑痕。
她笑了。笑靥像孩子般天真。
是的。她只是个孩子。
她说她想飞。
我看着她。我什么也做不了。 December 07 她以为自己可以飞peel me down to the last layer dry skin and leathery till my core starts to bleed this is my rebirth death befor I live again cry out "I'm okay" laugh with my chest shaking I will step off a high place wind blows loud and clear fly like a bird its my freeway -----) Reychelle
她被给予足够挥霍一生的金钱，但却得不到一日的自由。 October 20 LivingIf you dig a hole I'll jump in it If you can't see me I'll paint myself red
When I drain myself You can drink my juice When you leave I'll be gone already
I'm still living I'm still breathing Living, breathing, and smiling
Feeling the grass cut my skin Hearing my blood gushing I'm lying in the sun A shadow on my face
Come now Come and stab me Stab and torment me We will laugh together Like everybody else
Aren't we happy? Aren't we still living?
-Lain
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